I'm So very sorry

Well, day 13 is a rather humbling day. As a part of life we make choices and can never escape the consequences. I usually try to make the right choice for what I know to be true at that particular time and point in my life. But as with everything there are times when those choices involve others and in doing whats best for myself in that particular time or situation I ever so often, hurt another. Though out my high school days, I left church and entered my school hallways as a judgemental do-gooder. I stood on my pedestal and passed judgement on those who I thought were "not-doing the right thing" or who didn't follow what I thought to be the "right" thing.. out of love I often said or did things to show my judgment and tried to shove my point of view on others. To those people I apologise.
In college, the group I surrounded myself with was that very same way and I quickly learned what it felt like to be judged in the worst way. I acted out against what they thought was right and tried to do my own thing and still fit in with them but rebelled against them, probably to cause drama. To them, I apologise.
I make selfish decisions even now as an adult. I react to people or situations in irrational ways. I take things personally when I shouldn't, I ostracise others for no reason. But in all I hope those I've hurt understand I never have ill intentions toward them. I never truly mean to break a friendship or hurt someone else.
I think, well I KNOW there are people I have hurt tremendously in the past but even now as I reflect upon how I've reacted to certain situations and how others have reacted towards me, there are two individuals I feel I must apologise to. I don't think its appropriate to air out the details of.. or maybe I'm too much of a coward to admit in writing how I've hurt someone else.. or maybe its that I have no words to fill in the blanks of lost friendships... either way,  Jenna, I had no idea how badly I hurt you and I'm so very sorry. I knew there was pain but I was too blind and too busy to notice or take into consideration how my actions were affecting you. I hope we can be close again because even though I may not have a good way of showing it, I miss you and your friendship. I never stopped thinking of you as a very best friend. Sarah, I'm not even sure you'll ever see this, but I'm so sorry for the way I acted towards you. It was childish and irrational. I judged you and tried to force my beliefs on you. I should have listened and been more understanding. I hope that we can reconnect someday and be friends again because I miss you, and I miss your influence on my girl, you were always so sweet to her. I wish you so much happiness in your new adventure! He's such a cutie!