Homecoming

My hubby was scheduled to come home this weekend. I have been super busy moving our house around and fixing it up. It actually looks much different than it did 7 months ago. I had about a week to go to finish up all of my little projects and spit shine the last few inches of the house when I received a call from my sister-in-law. In her voicemail, she informed me that my Father in-law (Eric's Step-dad) had been in an accident and was headed to the hospital not looking very good. At this time I also had a text message from my cousin saying he probably wasn't going to make it. When I got the messages, I immediately told my husband and he called his mother. She was hysterical in the Hospital and barely breathing because of the situation. Eric was on the phone when the Doctor came in and said they were unable to revive him. He initiated a RedCorss message and was home within 3 days. It was excruciating having to sit around the house just waiting to hear what plans needed to be made and when his flight would be coming in and how long we were going to be away and trying to make plans without plans. But slowly things came into form and organized themselves. I got the confirmation email of Eric's flight coming in at 9:07 in to Nashville's BNA. I kicked myself into gear to finish all of my last little bit of stuff around the house and get ready for our 2 week trip out to Arkansas to be with our family for the tragic event. I went to eat with some friends the night before I was to pick him up and they gave me a few pointers and offered to watch Charlotte for a bit while we took some time to ourselves to get ready for our trip and 'reconnect.'
The morning came too quickly and I felt entirely unprepared, but I got up, dressed in my best and put C in her cutest welcome home outfit possible and we left for the drive to pick up Daddy. All through the mess of getting ready for him and our trip I was taking out photos to get Charlotte ready to see family she hadn't seen in a while and talked to her about Daddy coming home. Of course no one ever knows how kids are going to react in any situation but I tried my hardest to prepare her. The whole drive to the airport (about and hour away) She repeated, "Hurry Up Momma!" and "Lets Go Daddy!" and "Daddy Home! YAAAY!" :) It was very cute and I'll have to admit, it made me speed like a bat outta hell all the way there... oops. We got there and I put her in her stroller and as we were looking for the right waiting area, i got a call on my cell and his picture came up! *YAY!* He was in the states and using his phone to call me!! He explained his plane was pulling up to the gate and that he'd see us soon! I was soooo excited, nervous, and apprehensive all at the same time. There was another large family standing close and clearly waiting for a service member of their own. Shortly after they readied themselves he came walking up in full ACU's and couldn't have been more than 20. There was the mother hugging, crying, smiling and laughing. There was the father, weeping and laughing too. Brother's and sister's and friends and a girlfriend, all stood in line, waiting to hug and kiss their soldier. It was a site to see and made me tear up of course. I wondered as I was watching them, what they thought of my daughter and I standing there. Did they even notice us? We were waiting just like they had been and would they see our reunion? Would they cry for us as I had form them? Nope. Unexpectedly, Eric walked through the halls, not in ACU's, but in regular civilian clothes and unnoticeably strolled past the family. He came with a huge smile on his face and almost at a jogging pace. He stopped in front of me and dropped his bag. I was in his arms again. It was a feeling of relief, sadness, and ecstasy all at once. He turned to Charlotte who was staring widely at him and said, "Hi Baby girl. Will you come see Daddy?" Shyly, she looked at me and looked back to him. Her reaching her arms outward to him was the most amazing sight. In an embrace that lasted forever she hugged his neck not ever intending to let go. She knew who her daddy was, she knew his importance to her and she knew he was finally home with her. From that moment on she has barely let him out of her sight. She calls for him when she needs or wants anything, she wants him to read to her, and him to snuggle with her and him to play with her. It has been the sweetest moments watching the two of them play and interact. She LOVES her Daddy!
We arrived in Arkansas on Wednesday around noon. Its a bittersweet reunion for everyone. The arrangements being made are keeping us all busy, but in the evenings when things slow down we're all able to spend good quality time together talking, drinking, laughing, and sharing memories or life and of Ralph's life. One of my favorite things about Eric's family is that we're all able to be so completely open and share just about anything with everyone. And the conversation almost always turns over to the dirty side eventually. We have a good time laughing. :) The visitation was on Thursday where I had the opportunity to meet more family and friends of Ralph's. It was nice to meet his 2 sisters that were so incredibly friendly. They shared stories of him as the pictures of their childhood together popped up on the slide show playing. Everyone slowly, respectfully walked up and either smiled a comforting smile, celebrating life, or bowed over in tears, mourning for the loss of life. I have learned this year that for me its better to not look. I have lost my 3 remaining Grandparents, a couple of friends and now Ralph. The memories I hold on to are far better than seeing their body laying there. Knowing they are no longer in their body makes it harder to go up and taint the happy memories I have of our last encounters. However, I know that for others, it offers a closure to the mourning they go through.
Friday morning was a graveside service where Eric and his 2 sisters spoke. Anya read a beautiful poem speaking of life and loss in sailing terms. Ralph was an avid sailor. He took us out sailing in his big sailboat when we came to visit several times. Eric's sister Jessica spoke about the lessons Ralph taught her, they had a rough relationship that in the last five years or so had bloomed into one of respect for each other and common bond of love for Patty. Eric got up and told a couple stories that he remembered and then opened the floor for others to "Share a piece of Ralph they had experienced" because we are all blessed to know him through our encounters but would be even more so by knowing about other's interactions with him. A few people spoke about him and it was wonderful to hear their stories, each one of them humerus. It reminded me of how much I grew to love this man in just the 4 years I have known him. The funeral director spoke then and it was wonderful. I loved his words! He did such a great job, talking about life and family in general terms. Standing off in the back, trying...cough cough... failing...cough.. to keep Charlotte quietly entertained, I had tear streaked cheeks and a quivering lip throughout all of it. We spent the rest of the afternoon at Aunt Janice's house eating and enjoying the company of family and friends, getting acquainted and reacquainted with them all. After Charlotte clocked another kid on the trampoline, giving him a fat lip, we decided it was time to go... :) It was nap time for everyone. The weekend was low key and relaxing except for the little bit of family drama that apparently is common for the particular parties involved. I offered to punch someone (who had a crush on my husband at some point in their adolescent years) but it was taken care of diplomatically and in a semi-calm fashion. The majority of the family left on Sunday to return to their lives and as ready as I was to start ours, we had volunteered to stay and help Patty take care of things and to be there for her to keep her spirits up and 'feed her' as she said. It has been so nice getting to spend time with her and and see Charlotte interacting with her Grammy. I think having C here has been a big help for Grammy too. When we first got here, they went outside to water flowers together and we heard laughing that sounded like sobs and everyone piled out onto the deck to see Charlotte holding onto the end of the hose, soaking wet, in her diaper and t-shirt spraying herself and being so silly with Patty just laughing hysterically, tears streaming down her face. Charlotte then turned the hose on everyone else including her Grammy soaking her as well. Since then I think the overall mood has changed from sad to something that resembles happiness but with an undertone of melancholy. Taking care of all of the necessary things has been a new thing to me, I had no idea what all was included on the administrative side of all of this. I wont go into details but I would definitely encourage everyone to have their will ready and everything planned so that loved ones have an easy time going through it all. Patty and Ralph were pretty prepared but of course you can never be totally prepared for something like this to happen.
I am so thankful for an understanding family. Patty and Eric's sisters thanked me several times for being willing to share my husband after not having him for 7 months. Of course I wouldn't dream of even trying to keep him away from our family in this kind of situation but that doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly difficult to share his attention with so many other people right away. Having them understand that without me explaining it made it much easier. On top of thanking me, Patty also took Charlotte for walks to give us little moments here and there. She also took her over to Aunt Janice's house for an evening and let us go out for a nice dinner and a movie date night :) We got gussied up and went for a fancy night out, sadly, we forgot to take pictures. (but trust me.. we looked gooood!) When Eric's sister Jessica came back into town to take Patty up to Wichita, she and Patty kept Charlotte so she could play with her cousin Lexi while Eric and I went to visit Eric's cousins Jennie and Jodi. :) So much fun! It was a great last night in town.
The drive back was interesting... Our GPS took us an interesting way. We were about 2 hours away from home, in Paris, Tn, and the GPS wasn't recognizing the road we were on. I guess the highway was new and the GPS wanted to take us to the old one. We followed it down some country back roads and found our way to old highway but failing to come to a complete stop got us pulled over on the side of the old highway. When the cop ran Eric's licence, it came up as suspended. The cop immediately said he'd have to take him in for driving on a bad licence, with a $1000 bond that I'd have to come bail him out with! insert: **!!Freak out moment!!** Then he recanted and said since it was an obvious mistake (the licence was issued AFTER the suspension date) Anyway, He said since E was military he knew he could keep up with him, and he understood just getting back from deployment and he gave us a citation and said come to court prepared to show proof that the licence was taken care of. So, of course I drove the rest of the way home and we made the last 2 hours as slow and lawful as possible.
Our time at home since then has been fun. Getting back into our groove as a family and making the little adjustments in our attitude and rituals has been interesting. We both have to go from taking care of ourselves to thinking of the other in daily tasks and decision making. C has been having a BLAST with her Daddy home. Last night we were putting her to bed and she wanted me to read her stories but then she wanted Daddy to lay down with her. The sweetest thing in the entire world is watching him sing her to sleep and snuggle up with her as she is playing with his hair.
All is right in our little world with daddy home. It may only last a few more months before the next deployment but we will soak up all the goodness for now :)

(It did take me the last 2 weeks to write this whole thing, so pardon the time differecnces in each paragraph) :)