It's approx. 1 a.m. and I am wide awake.. well I shouldn't say that because If i crawled into be right now I'd be dead asleep. But I'd say that the pregnancy talking... My mind is going a million miles a minute, So I thought maybe a blog would help me clear some of the things going on under my ponytail and between my ears....
I was challenged by a business associate to contact a certain person, so I could look to her for advice and guidance when the men we take counsel from fail to explain things in the female language. It is a task I willingly and excitedly accept! I thought for sure she'd have a facebook, but I searched under several names to no avail. She must be good at hiding it if she does have one! My next step is to use our business resources and get her my info so hopefully she'll contact me.. and give me access to her facebook So I can get to know her, in my own facebook fetish ways :)
Anyway, while searching for her, a friend in need started chatting with me about a failing marriage. It makes me sad to see such things happening. She asked me at one point if i thought there was ever a reason to call it quits... I said no. Mostly because it sounded like the relationship she was talking about was looking for a way out, and this particular situation is so common and even more commonly fixed. They are young and its the hardest thing they've faced with each other and there is really no need to just give up. If they'd only be willing to put in the effort and work it takes, I know they could both be very happy with each other. Since we've been married we've known between 15 and 20 couples to divorce... wow in 4 and a half years... That to me is ridiculous and pathetic. Marriage is not about making someone feel good, its not about being happy, or even about 'doing the right thing". It's just simply NOT about you. You've committed yourself to this person, promised to love them no matter what. Everybody has faults, you can enhance them or you can get through them, either way those faults are what you take on when you marry someone... even if they don't surface until later. Anyway, that's my little soapbox...
I also started wondering through all of my social networking... Who reads my blog that I don't know about. Who is stalking me? I think my FB page is set to private but you just never know. Its funny to think, what if this person that I don't talk to anymore still keeps up with me. I know there are people I network myself to through others and enjoy keeping tabs on.. aka spying or FB stalking if you will. Its fun and a challenge to me, and of course I'm nosy as hell and love a good story to share. :) I was 'networking' tonight and found out an old friend I had deleted(for personal reasons, nothing against her) is pregnant... its just weird. She is part of one of the couples we know that divorced in the last couple years. I think I probably took it too personally, but I put a lot of counsel and a lot of emotion in the counsel i gave her and it hurt me when she blew it off for the counsel of divorced women and people who didn't know the whole story of what she was going through (and PUTTING herself through), as in both sides of the story. To me it is so sad when a person will spin a story or situation in order to hear what they want to hear instead of the truth. Anyway, she's moved on and remarried (weird) and is now pregnant (weirder). And I just wonder (probably because I spent so much emotion on her) if she thinks about me as she enters this new adventure of parent hood. (I know that's probably a selfish thing to think, and maybe even a little egotistical.) She was a part our lives as we went through the first pregnancy and she was someone we routinely entrusted Charlotte with. Is it strange of me to have hoped to have been an example at least in the momma arena of life? Even if she refused to listen to my relationship advice, I'd still like to know I could be someone she thinks of through her journey. I think about her all the time. It is really strange actually, because we have remained close with the other half of her failed marriage. Not because we took sides, just because it seemed to fit better that way. I don't know if there is divorce etiquette or anything (I'm sure there is now that its such an easy and oh-so-common choice for people now).
I was challenged by a business associate to contact a certain person, so I could look to her for advice and guidance when the men we take counsel from fail to explain things in the female language. It is a task I willingly and excitedly accept! I thought for sure she'd have a facebook, but I searched under several names to no avail. She must be good at hiding it if she does have one! My next step is to use our business resources and get her my info so hopefully she'll contact me.. and give me access to her facebook So I can get to know her, in my own facebook fetish ways :)
Anyway, while searching for her, a friend in need started chatting with me about a failing marriage. It makes me sad to see such things happening. She asked me at one point if i thought there was ever a reason to call it quits... I said no. Mostly because it sounded like the relationship she was talking about was looking for a way out, and this particular situation is so common and even more commonly fixed. They are young and its the hardest thing they've faced with each other and there is really no need to just give up. If they'd only be willing to put in the effort and work it takes, I know they could both be very happy with each other. Since we've been married we've known between 15 and 20 couples to divorce... wow in 4 and a half years... That to me is ridiculous and pathetic. Marriage is not about making someone feel good, its not about being happy, or even about 'doing the right thing". It's just simply NOT about you. You've committed yourself to this person, promised to love them no matter what. Everybody has faults, you can enhance them or you can get through them, either way those faults are what you take on when you marry someone... even if they don't surface until later. Anyway, that's my little soapbox...
I also started wondering through all of my social networking... Who reads my blog that I don't know about. Who is stalking me? I think my FB page is set to private but you just never know. Its funny to think, what if this person that I don't talk to anymore still keeps up with me. I know there are people I network myself to through others and enjoy keeping tabs on.. aka spying or FB stalking if you will. Its fun and a challenge to me, and of course I'm nosy as hell and love a good story to share. :) I was 'networking' tonight and found out an old friend I had deleted(for personal reasons, nothing against her) is pregnant... its just weird. She is part of one of the couples we know that divorced in the last couple years. I think I probably took it too personally, but I put a lot of counsel and a lot of emotion in the counsel i gave her and it hurt me when she blew it off for the counsel of divorced women and people who didn't know the whole story of what she was going through (and PUTTING herself through), as in both sides of the story. To me it is so sad when a person will spin a story or situation in order to hear what they want to hear instead of the truth. Anyway, she's moved on and remarried (weird) and is now pregnant (weirder). And I just wonder (probably because I spent so much emotion on her) if she thinks about me as she enters this new adventure of parent hood. (I know that's probably a selfish thing to think, and maybe even a little egotistical.) She was a part our lives as we went through the first pregnancy and she was someone we routinely entrusted Charlotte with. Is it strange of me to have hoped to have been an example at least in the momma arena of life? Even if she refused to listen to my relationship advice, I'd still like to know I could be someone she thinks of through her journey. I think about her all the time. It is really strange actually, because we have remained close with the other half of her failed marriage. Not because we took sides, just because it seemed to fit better that way. I don't know if there is divorce etiquette or anything (I'm sure there is now that its such an easy and oh-so-common choice for people now).
Hmmmm... I often wonder if she keeps tabs on me.. you know.. through "networking". I fully expect(hope) that other people do it too (so that I'm not the crazy one). haha
Anyway.. That's what has been rolling through my brain the last few hours... I've been too busy this weekend to be socially networked so this is like my 'fix' of social networking...
Do you ever get caught up in looking at other people's pages or even friends of friends pages? Like if someone makes an interesting comment on a friends page or status or whatever, I'm drawn to them and want to read their info page and see their pictures and who they are friends with... its like getting to know them without ever meeting them. Maybe I'm weird and crazy but its super super fun to me!!
And That's the way the cookie crumbles...
Stay Classy San Diego, I'm Ron Burgundy ;)
Anyway.. That's what has been rolling through my brain the last few hours... I've been too busy this weekend to be socially networked so this is like my 'fix' of social networking...
Do you ever get caught up in looking at other people's pages or even friends of friends pages? Like if someone makes an interesting comment on a friends page or status or whatever, I'm drawn to them and want to read their info page and see their pictures and who they are friends with... its like getting to know them without ever meeting them. Maybe I'm weird and crazy but its super super fun to me!!
And That's the way the cookie crumbles...
Stay Classy San Diego, I'm Ron Burgundy ;)
2 comments:
I know what you mean about people checking up on you. Privacy settings only go so far. Those that want to, find a way around it. For the record, I do check your FB page and blog every day or so. I don't like to think of it as stalking, more of following you since you interest me.
About your friend and the marriage. I too know several couples now that are divorced already at this young age and many are already in serious relationships heading toward marriage again. For me, that is overwhelming to think of, but at the same time, when I got married, we did not take it lightly at all. For us, even at just 22 years old when we made the commitment, we knew it meant for the rest of our eternal lives. I think people live in a fantasy world in which they think marriage is supposed to make them happy and perfect all the time. NEWSFLASH! Marriage takes work! It also bothers me when people say things like "he/she changed." Well, yes, as people age and mature, they grow up. You have to work to grow together. I have a very hard time seeing people take the route of divorce as if it is no big deal and the only solution to problems, that if they wanted to fix them, many times they easily could. Bottom line...Frustrating to watch.
we are truly cut from the same cloth! I back you 100% on everything you said, and even have the same expectation (hopes) that you do. I wish we would have gotten to know each other better in high school! But that's ok. never too late :) And yes, I check on your blog all the time :)
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